How death affects us

A good friend of mine just lost her father after 5 long months of illness. I’m sure she knew that a recovery was not in the plan, but I also know that we cling to a shred of hope even if it is against our mind’s knowing. And now she experiences that deep grief and abandonment that most of us have known for ourselves.

Why do we feel such utter pain when our loved one is now at peace, and free from all ills and discomforts? I suppose it is the knowing that we will not see them on this earth again, that they will not be that phone call away. And I suppose it also brings about the “should have’s” and “could have’s” that we as humans are so good at conjuring up.

I know well the grief process. I lost a mother to a long illness, and a father to an unexpected, frighteningly quick passing. I have lost animals that were like children to me. It is never easy, no matter how long you know that death is inevitable. In fact, we are all dying right this very minute. But for some reason in our society, we have not established the mindset of allowing and facilitating and embracing this right of passage as we do birth. We fight it kicking and screaming, or surrender to it helplessly.

I hope that as I inevitably will have to face the passing of others that are dear to me, I will be able to celebrate the life I was able to spend with that person while they are alive and in their passing. I hope that I can look at each new day as a new possibility to express my love and thanks to those dearest to me. And I pray that after death we are still able to see  and feel the presence of our loved ones on this earth still, in ways that are unique to each of us. I know that I have felt my father’s presence in my life several times since his death in 1993, and it is a comfort to know that his energy and spirit are still out there available to me. What I also know is that to access or receive this energy, I have to be open to it, and not too busy or it is just another energy stream floating about the atmosphere. But when I am alone and in a peace-filled state of mind, and I allow myself to be open to whatever the universe wants to share with me at that moment, I sometimes will feel or see a bit of my father, usually in his own funny way. And it gives me such a feeling of cennectedness that is hard to describe, but it is powerful.

I hope that each of you finds the time in your days to express love and gratitude to those you love. I pray that you can find healing in those relationships that need mending. And I hope you too, can embrace the ending of life as well, as the right of passage into the next realm, into heaven, into whatever you believe awaits us after this life. And, I pray that you remain open to the possibilities that our loved ones are still out there ready to reach out to us if we allow their energies and their presence to be received.

Peace,

Diane